Congressman Jim Cooper Introduces Controversial Marijuana Legislation

In the world of science today, scientists studying life at the bottom of the ocean report that creatures who dwell there are less likely to belly laugh at funny TV shows, for fear of bursting, than fish that swim near the surface. The experiment actually placed old twelve-inch black-and-white television sets at different ocean depths to provoke the reactions.

Meanwhile, in Washington, D.C., Congressman Jim Cooper (D-TN), long known for a history of controversial stands on issues (he recently predicted that the law of gravity would continue to operate as it has always done), introduced legislation in the wake of the passage of laws in Washington state and Colorado decriminalizing marijuana. Cooper's bill would set up a Federal Commission to study the interrelationship between Federal and state law enforcement officials in enforcing the laws prohibiting marijuana usage. "It's going to look at their "joint" efforts," Cooper cracked at a news conference announcing the move.

A young reporter from the Nashville Tennessean, John Seigenthaler 3.5, asked Cooper if he was taking a stand on the "virtues or perils" of marijuana legalization. "No, and this panel won't do that, either," Cooper replied. "It will study how the different enforcement agencies have interacted in the past, so we can determine if they should interact in the same way in the future." Asked if he expected the legislation to be controversial, Cooper smiled and said, "Of course. I introduced it, didn't I? That alone makes it controversial. Have you forgotten my long history"

The bill calls for the committee, which has no authority to write or recommend future legislation, to report no later than December 31, 2049.

Back to the world of biology, scientists who study other scientists say that those who study birds in flight and those who study snakes in the grass both tend to develop cricks in their necks, but in different locations...