Keith Olbermann to Quit TV, Start A Manufacturing Company

In today's headline, a group of humor specialists in England vowed to continue their fight to make satire an Olympic sport.

But first, longtime TV opinion journalist Keith Olbermann announced he was permanently quitting TV to start a manufacturing company in Milwaukee.

"I have been at TV a long time," a subdued Olbermann said to a group of reporters. "I've had a good run at it. But now it is time to do my part to restore the U.S. manufacturing base. And I don't mean just by talking about it. I mean by getting out into the field.

We'll start out by making widgets. Then  we'll move on to more and more complicated products, highly specialized electronic and mechanical gadgetry, Maybe we'll eventually make some craft beers. This is Milwaukee, after all."

Asked what led him into manufacturing, Olbermann responded forcefully, "We used to have a large manufacturing base in this country, with good, high-paying jobs. Then we lost it. Now I am determined to bring it back, even if we have to pollute some. To tell you the truth, I miss Pittsburgh in its smoky days. At least then, our working men had good-paying careers. And now I get to put my money where my mouth is."

Back to the news from England, the scientific humorists hope to have satire in the Olympics by 2016. "This will be a clean, honest sport," the panel said. "No doping."