Don's Blog: Amidst Obamacare Flap, Netanyahu Quietly Replaces Obama, Biden With Alan Dershowitz, Jeffrey Toobin

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Friday, November 8, 2013

Amidst Obamacare Flap, Netanyahu Quietly Replaces Obama, Biden With Alan Dershowitz, Jeffrey Toobin

As the controversy over the Obamacare website unfolded over the last month, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel quietly fired Barack Obama and Joe Biden, and replaced them with Alan Dershowitz and Jeffrey Toobin,as President and Vice President, respectively.

"I didn't like the job they were doing, so I fired them," Netanyahu said casually when asked about the matter at a press conference in Tel Aviv. "It really is that simple."

Asked for his reasons, The Prime Minister said, "Primarily Iran. Listen, I gave Barack Obama four years to take care of this problem, far more than I would normally have given an American President...It was getting very frustrating...It was almost like he forgot whom he was working for."

Pressed for why he selected the two men as replacements, he answered enthusiastically,  "It was a no-brainer...Alan has long been a loyal supporter; there are none better in the U.S., or even the world. We can count on his support no matter what we do,,,As for Jeff, I have liked his recent comments on the Snowden situation and the NSA. He is good at being both a principled civil libertarian and an ardent supporter of the type of governmental surveillance we need to keep order in the two countries."

A reporter from the Washington Post asked if this was a "nuclear option" in the scheme of actions he could have taken; Netanyahu objected to the term.

"I'm a bit uncomfortable with that term, because of the Iranian situation. But I did try everything, you have to admit that...But you can only accuse a man of being Neville Chamberlain so many times...Hell, most people don't even know who that is...Maybe I should have accused him of being Justin Bieber or Lady Gaga..."

As he was winding down the press conference, Netanyahu was asked if he regretted using the term "nuclear option."

"No, not really. After all, you used the term first; I just responded to it...And I did try everything I could think of before doing this..."

He shrugged and lit a cigar. "And---like all things nuclear, I can always deny saying it."

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