Saudi Arabia to Allow Gay Marriages

Saudi Arabia plans to allow gay marriages for members of both sexes by the beginning of the year 2050, it announced Monday.

A brief statement issued by the Interior Ministry's Division of Sexual Mores said that the changes would be phased in over the next few decades. First, all laws banning consensual sexual activity among consenting adults of the same sex would be gradually abandoned (Sexual acts between members of the opposite sex would still be carefully regulated, however.). Then, after a decade or so, gay marriages between males would be allowed. By January 1, 2050, marriages between females will be allowed.

"We have to allow for gradual change," the statement said. "We have to condition the people for this over a period of time."

The statement noted that gay sexual activity was flourishing in Saudi Arabia, and had been for some time. "When you tightly restrict heterosexual sex, outlets develop, and certain lesser important types of activities increase. We recognize that. Our primary concern is to limit sex between members of the opposite sex; the rest is icing on the cake, so to speak, and not worth fooling with."

The statement went on to predict that, after an initial period of mild resistance and debate, the provisions would be accepted by the public.

"We have always been the leader of such things in this part of the world. This is evidence of that. Besides, it will get the gay lobby off our backs. We didn't quite realize the persistence of some of those folks."